A night in with sensory play

Close your eyes for a moment and notice what happens. Sounds get sharper. The air on your skin feels different. You start waiting for the next touch. That's the whole idea behind sensory play: take one sense away, turn another one up, and let anticipation do the rest. It needs very little kit, it suits every body and every kind of relationship, and it's a lovely way to spend a long autumn evening in.

Start with a five-minute chat

Sensory play is gentle, but it still works best when you've agreed the basics first. Before you begin, talk about:

• What's on the menu. Blindfold, feathers, massage, warm and cool? Decide together.
• What's off limits. Ticklish spots, areas you'd rather not have touched, anything that doesn't appeal.
• How to pause. Pick a simple word or signal that means "stop" or "slow down", and agree that it's always respected.
• Check-ins. A quick "how's that?" keeps things relaxed and keeps both of you in charge.

Whoever is wearing the blindfold can take it off at any time. That's not a mood-killer; it's what makes it feel safe enough to enjoy.

Blindfolds: the easiest way in

Taking away sight is the simplest, most effective place to begin. Suddenly every touch is a small surprise.

A soft, comfortable blindfold is all you need. The Bound to Play. Beginners Blindfold (£6.99) is a gentle first step. If you'd like a head start, the Bound to Play. Eye Mask and Feather Tickler Play Kit (£14.99) pairs an eye mask with a feather tickler, which covers the first two sections of this guide in one go.

Browse more in our blindfolds and masks collection.

Touch: feathers, fingertips and contrast

Once your partner can't see what's coming, variety is everything. Try:

• A feather tickler drawn slowly along the arms, collarbone, back of the knees and inner thighs. The Bound to Please Feather Tickler Black (£4.99) also comes in purple and red.
• Fingertips only, then the flat of your hand, then just your breath.
• Different textures from around the house: a silk scarf, a soft make-up brush, a cool metal spoon.
• Changing the pace. Slow, slower, pause, then something completely different.

The pauses matter as much as the touches. Waiting is half the fun.

Massage: slow and warm

A massage turns sensory play into something deeply relaxing, and it's a lovely way to open or close the evening.

Warm a little oil in your hands first, and never pour it straight onto skin. The Earthly Body Edible Massage Oil (£19.99) is designed to be kissed off as well as rubbed in. Our massage oils and candles collection has more options.

A few sensible notes:

• Patch test any new oil on a small area of skin first.
• Oil and latex don't mix. Oil-based products can damage latex condoms and some toys, so wipe off before you move on to anything that needs a condom.
• Massage oils are for the outside of the body, not for internal use.

Temperature play: warm and cool

Contrast is where sensory play really comes alive.

Keeping it cool: hold a glass of iced water for a minute, then touch your partner with your chilled fingertips. An ice cube traced across the skin works too, as long as you keep it moving and never hold it in one place.

Adding warmth: warm your hands, breathe gently on cooled skin, or stand the oil bottle in a bowl of warm water before massage.

Trying wax play: if you're both curious, the Bound to Play. Hot Wax Candle Red (£14.99) is a soya wax candle made specifically for wax play. Ordinary household candles aren't suitable. Follow these steps:

1. Read the instructions that come with the candle.
2. Test a drop on your own inner arm first.
3. Pour from higher up for a cooler feel and lower for a warmer one, and start high.
4. Avoid the face, hair, genitals and any broken or sensitive skin.
5. Protect your bedding, keep the flame away from fabric and never leave it unattended.

If you have a skin condition or reduced feeling anywhere, skip the wax, or speak to your GP before you try it.

Putting your evening together

Here's a simple running order to borrow:

1. Dim the lights, warm the room and put your phones away.
2. Have your chat, then put the blindfold on.
3. Start with feathers and fingertips.
4. Move into a slow massage.
5. Play with warm and cool, then see where the evening takes you.

There's no finish line. Some nights you'll only get as far as the massage, and that's a lovely night too.

If you enjoyed taking things slowly, our bondage for beginners guide builds gently on the same ideas of trust and communication, and the couples guide has plenty more to try together.