Choosing your first dildo: materials, sizes and shapes

Dildos are about as simple as sex toys get. No motors, no buttons, no charging. That simplicity is exactly why so many people love them: you are in complete control of the pace, the angle and the pressure. The choice can still feel overwhelming, though, so here is how to narrow it down to one you will actually enjoy.

Start with the material

What a dildo is made from affects how it feels, how you clean it and which lube you can use. It is the most important decision, so get this right first.

• Silicone is the popular all-rounder. It is smooth, slightly soft, warms to body temperature and is easy to clean. Pair it with a water-based lube, because silicone lube can damage silicone toys.
• Glass is firm, smooth and weighty. It can be warmed in water or cooled for temperature play (test it on your wrist first), and it works with any type of lube. Always check it for chips or cracks before use.
• Dual density silicone has a firmer core with a softer outer layer, which gives a more lifelike feel while staying sturdy.
• Other materials such as TPE and PVC are often cheaper. They can be a fine way to try things, but they are usually a little harder to keep clean, so consider using a condom over them.

Our lube compatibility guide has the full breakdown of which lubes suit which materials.

Getting the size right

It is very common to buy bigger than you need. For a first dildo, modest is best. Around 5 to 6 inches of length is plenty for most people, and width matters more than length for comfort.

A handy trick is to compare the listed width with something you already know is comfortable, such as your fingers or a toy you already own. You can always move on to something bigger later. Starting too big usually just means a toy that sits in a drawer.

Curved, straight or realistic?

Shape changes the experience more than you might expect.

• Curved dildos are designed to reach the front wall of the vagina (often called the G-spot area) or, for people with a prostate, the prostate. The Mina Silk Curved Silicone Dildo 5 Inch (£14.99) is a slender, smooth first choice in liquid silicone. If you want a touch more length, the Mina Bliss Curved Silicone Dildo 6 Inch (£18.99) has the same sleek style.
• Realistic dildos are shaped like a penis, with a defined head and sometimes veins or balls. Some people love the familiarity, others prefer something more abstract. The SilexD 6 inch Realistic Silicone Dual Density Dildo with Suction Cup (£32.99) is a good middle ground: realistic in shape, beginner-friendly in size.
• Textured dildos have ribs or bumps for extra sensation. The Spectrum Ribbed Glass Dildo (£29.99) is a lovely option if you like the idea of glass and want some texture to explore.

Browse all the shapes in our dildos collection.

Are suction cups worth it?

A suction cup base lets you stick your dildo to a smooth, flat surface such as a tiled wall, the side of the bath or a glass door. That means hands-free play and the freedom to try different positions, including riding.

Suction cup bases also help in two other ways:

1. They act as a flared base, which is essential if you want to use a dildo for anal play. Never use a toy anally unless it has a wide base that stops it slipping in.
2. Many fit a strap-on harness with an O-ring, so your dildo can grow with you. The SilexD model above can be used this way, and the Loving Joy Curved 5 Inch Silicone Dildo with Suction Cup (£16.99) is another compact option.

For a suction cup to grip, the surface needs to be clean, smooth and non-porous. Wetting the base slightly helps. See more in our suction cup dildos collection.

Using it for the first time

1. Wash it first with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner.
2. Get comfortable and warmed up. Arousal makes a big difference, so do not skip the build-up.
3. Use plenty of water-based lube on the toy and on yourself.
4. Go slowly and let your body guide the pace and depth. Try different angles and positions.
5. Stop if anything hurts. If you regularly feel pain or discomfort, it is worth a chat with your GP or a pharmacist.

If you are planning to explore anal play, our beginner's guide to anal play covers the extra things to know.

Looking after your dildo

Clean it after every use and let it dry completely before storing it somewhere cool and dust-free. Keep silicone toys from touching each other in storage, and put glass somewhere it will not get knocked.

Choosing a first dildo is really about knowing what you are curious about. Pick a body-safe material, a comfortable size and a shape that appeals, and let yourself enjoy exploring. When you are ready, the dildos and strap-ons collection has plenty to choose from.