A beginner's guide to anal play and butt plugs

Anal play has a reputation for being complicated, but most of it comes down to three things: plenty of lube, a toy that is the right shape, and no rush at all. Whatever your body and whoever you are playing with, the basics are the same. This guide walks you through them so your first time feels relaxed, comfortable and, above all, fun.

Why people enjoy it

The area around the anus is packed with sensitive nerve endings, so gentle touch there can feel very good. For people with a prostate, it also sits just inside and can be reached through anal play. For everyone else, the feeling of fullness and pressure is often the draw.

None of that means you have to enjoy it. Curiosity is a perfectly good reason to try, and deciding it is not for you is a perfectly good outcome. If you are playing with a partner, talk first, agree that either of you can stop at any point, and check in as you go.

Lube is not optional

Unlike the vagina, the anus does not make its own lubrication, so lube is essential every single time. Thicker lubes tend to stay put for longer, which makes them a comfortable choice for beginners.

• Water-based lube is the safe all-rounder. It works with every toy material and with condoms, and it washes off easily. The Sliquid Naturals Sassy Anal Lubricant-125ml (£14.99) is a thicker water-based gel made for anal play, and the Loving Joy Aloe Infused Anal Lubricant 100ml (£7.99) is a budget-friendly alternative.
• Silicone lube lasts longer but should not be used with silicone toys, as it can damage the surface.
• Be generous, and reapply whenever things start to feel less slippery.

Not sure which to pick? Our lube compatibility guide explains which lubes work with which materials.

Choosing your first butt plug

A good first plug is small, smooth and tapered, with a soft point at the tip that gradually widens. Start smaller than you think you need. You can always go up a size later.

The flared base is the most important feature. The rectum can draw objects inwards, so anything you put in your bottom must have a wide base or handle that stops it slipping all the way in. Never use anything without one, and that includes household objects.

A few good starting points:

• The Loving Joy Butt Plug Training Kit Purple (£12.99) gives you four plugs in graduated sizes, each with a tapered tip and a base designed for safety. It is a sensible way to find out what size suits you without buying several separate toys.
• The Toosh Black Silicone Butt Plug Small (£9.99) has a pointed tip for easier insertion and a wide base. Silicone is smooth, warms to body temperature and is easy to clean.
• Once you are comfortable, metal plugs are worth a look for their weight and the way they respond to temperature.

Browse the full range in our butt plugs collection.

Your first time, step by step

1. Pick a relaxed moment. Tension makes everything harder, so choose a time when you are not in a hurry and will not be interrupted.
2. Warm up. A bath, some solo touching or a massage helps your body relax. Starting with a lubed finger (with short, smooth nails) is a gentle way to begin.
3. Lube the toy and yourself generously.
4. Breathe out slowly as you press the tip against the entrance. Let your body open in its own time rather than pushing.
5. Go slowly. Pause whenever you like. Many people find a gentle in-and-out rocking motion easier than one steady push.
6. Stop if it hurts. Some unfamiliar pressure is normal, but pain is your body telling you to slow down or stop. If you have ongoing pain, bleeding or any health condition affecting that area, speak to your GP or a pharmacist before trying again.

Start with short sessions. Plugs are designed to be worn, but there is no prize for keeping one in for a long time on day one.

Hygiene without the worry

The rectum is usually fairly empty, and a trip to the loo and a shower beforehand is enough for most people. Some like to use a douche for extra confidence. If you do, use plain lukewarm water, go gently and keep it occasional. The Toosh Douche 160ml (£7.99) is a simple bulb douche that does the job, and there are more options in our douches and enemas collection.

A few golden rules:

• Never go from anal to vaginal play without washing the toy thoroughly or changing the condom on it first.
• Clean your toy after every use with warm water and mild soap or a dedicated toy cleaner, then let it dry fully before storing it.
• Keep your anal toys separate if you share them with a partner, or pop a fresh condom over them.

There is more detail in our toy care and cleaning guide.

Take your time

Anal play rewards patience. Go at your own pace, use more lube than you think you need, and treat every session as a chance to learn what you like. When you are ready to explore, our anal collection has plugs, beads and lubes for every stage. Every order ships in a plain, unbranded parcel, with nothing on the outside to show what is inside or where it is from.